Power from my Toes

for truly I am better when I repress you.
we come and we go
you came and I went
I let you go
again and again
sometimes I can breathe you out from my socks full body and
mostly you're never there at all,
but tonight the melancholic sounds
have a way of bringing you to mind
and all I can do is swallow you down
lest you swallow me whole again.

yes okay I'm being dramatic with my words
but they sound so rich like this don't they?
and hey I'm not afraid to face the feels 
'cause they're the real deal
so digest them how you'd like,

for my love for you is better swallowed, 
because I've felt that lust is hella fun but a bit sticky at times
and I've seen at times that love is blind so now I see with my gut
the visceral message it's real 
that truly I am better when I repress you.
and when I avoid texting you.

no I'm not as tragic as this sounds,
this is where I write you out to cleanse you out.
others might relate and regardless it's my
repression released on screen.

no no I'm not as tragic as this seems
it's just that love is powerful
and I need to reserve some power 
for myself now.

that and I've learned to like the nice ones,
we laugh and keep it real.
love sits right in balance.

just like my gut
it's feeling pretty fucking fine these days.

*breathes out from toes*

I Saw Time in Her Laughter Ringing

those moments when you recognize time
when the memories are vivid in the same place many moons ago
where you see your age
in the smell of a place.

when your mind's eye walks the halls,
tastes the temperature of the rooms 
that taught you how to pray
by playing fruit salad with snotty kids
and buying a red squire strat 
just so he might fall in love with you
before you figure out self-confidence,
a thought to be forgiven,
but lordy what does it mean to love?

when the laughter returns from yesteryear, a dirty word you said made her laugh in that elevator you'd hide in during the service - harmonies and prayers for your soul muffled beyond the doors - sitting on it's floor long enough for the lights to forget you were there and shroud you in darkness - only your breathing sounds and stifled maturation reminding you of one another's company.
when you see time in the face of the same friend.
her laughter still ringing with all it has seen,
the sound hasn't changed but it's a little more rich.
I hear it in time.
a comfort in the ages.

when you see time.
and it makes you stop.
or wish you could.