{my journey
in figuring out that
I cannot save the world...
- C}
The following poem is one that I wrote a couple of months
ago about a situation that happened last late winter that I haven’t quite been
able to shake. It was about 8am on a
Saturday morning and the youth were about to chow down on amazing food prepared
for them by family and friends in celebration of ending a fast to learn about
hunger… specifically with South Sudan in mind.
A knock came on the church door.
Standing there in the snow was a man wearing just a thin tattered gray
suit whom I didn’t recognize from my time working and living downtown, but who
clearly had a lot of need. Though I was
torn, I decided for a number of reasons not to let him in… and this internal
struggle of my own came out of that, while I learn painful and humbling lessons
of not being able to do or fix everything, and how and when to let go.
God
on the Doorstep
Knock Knock Knock
on the door…
Up
from the deep slumber
we rise in the church to
warm smells and sizzling sounds of
fast-breaking –
joy and pride and bacon
wafting around us.
Knock
Knock Knock
on the door…
God help me – I will answer.
Knock
Knock
Knock…
He
talked and walked
in circles, circles,
about a priest, the police, a need
a priest, the police, a need
a priest, the police, a -
circling, circling, circling:
Hunger at the doorsteps
of a feast to break a fast –
I want to let him in...
Knock
Knock
Knock…
I
talked and walked
in circles, circles,
about safety, hypocrisy, a need
safety, hypocrisy, a need
safety, hypocrisy, a -
circling, circling, circling:
Lone at the doorsteps
of a feast to break a fast –
I cannot let him in.
Knock
Knock Knock
on the door…
Up
from the deep soul
I raise my hands, his demands –
between the chaos and the structure
his demands - aren't
his demands - aren't
yet met.
Knock
Knock Knock
on the door…
God help us – there is no answer.
Out
in the deep cold,
dark circles
under
heavy, wide, empty eyes,
full of deep light need, face
the deep joyful shadows,
circling
behind
light, wide, empty eyes,
full of deep dark need.
full of deep dark need.
I am sorry there is life, I am sorry
I am sorry there is life, I am sorry
I am sorry there is -
Knock
Knock Knock…
Dreaming of unlocked doors –
but we have to do more,
but we can’t
but we have to do more
but we can’t –
Dreaming of unlocked doors –
let us pray,
let us eat,
let us pray,
Dreaming of unlocked doors –
until we let him in.
Lock
Lock Lock
on
the door…
In
from the deep cold
we
laugh in the church around
warm
smells and sizzling sounds of fast-breaking –
joy
and pride and bacon
wafting
around us.
Knock
Knock Knock,
God is on the Doorstep…
there is life,
in the deep
there is life.
